Did you know? (Dam)

Did you know that your killing her?
yeah the mother of the forest, the lady of the land, mother nature... she will die.
You put a Dam where her rivers and endless waters flow.  
Do you know what dams do?
A dam blocks water in sections to control the water flow and to give a natural turbine rotation that provides our human lives with energy and power.
Sound good?
A dam makes reservoirs, large bodies of water to vacation by.
Sound good?
A dam makes a wall to kill fish migration and to destroy foliage.  The trees and stones and animal homes get buried by large masses of water potentially killing many species and varieties of animals, insects, and and other life thought or sought for.  A dam pushes there homes back and forces with the only persuasion being death or suffering.
Sound good?

Breath

Breathing, breath one was not the time I came out of the womb or even the time that I learned what breathing was.  No, breath one was the time that I realized that I was alive and that life actually has meaning and purpose.  When I realized that I am not just another figure in a large game board being played by the creator but when I looked at a choice and really thought about it.  When I realized that I have the agency to choose what I wanted to choose.  There is nobody pulling me in a direction except for myself because whatever sound appetizing and delightful is probably the thing that I will chose depending on the consequence.  In a made up statistic of 100 percent of people,  nobody faces every challenge and always thinks about the outcome.  We always have blinders on when they need to be off and sadly our peripheral vision sucks.  I look at the consequence every time.  Every single time except the time that I look at it, is usually about a few seconds after it is already too late and I cant take back what I have done, but you know thats just living.  You cant sit and worry about the past when all you have to look forward to is the future, so you may as well make your future good and do it right.
Breath its alright.  You made a mistake but all you can do is be ready to make the right choice next time you face the same challenge.  Breathe in and the out,  such a perfect system.

Bringing life up to date

So I thought I would let you know that I found the person.
You know the one...
With a blink the world sets and the sun falls across the cracks on the Rockies.
When I reveal my glazed over iris back to the light the moon has passed.
Whether it was waxing or waning I am unaware maybe i should pay more attention.
Some people in this society have placed me into a group; a classification that just helps there mind make sense of what seems weird to them.
Obviously this puts the thought into my own head that I am weird, and well... I am.
Lately I have wondered if my life is heading in the direction that I want it to and I guess I have not yet seen a turn back or dead end sign so I will take that as the universes way of telling me that I am semi on track, I hope.

I found her

I found her
I found the one who likes me for me and not because of a title or genre I fit into
The one who lies next to me and wraps her arms around me living each second together as if it is going to be our last.
The one who tells me what she thinks who was not afraid to be herself around me from the beginning. 
The one who I asked me to propose with a grass ring because its not the material that mattered it was me.
The one Who has the same answer to a question and then expands it into something beautiful.
The one who makes me feel like a kid and feel ready to conquer the world at any second.
I found her and I am not letting go.

alright so its time to get it out

I use to be a wreck.  I was excellent at hiding it and putting on a false smile and pretend that I loved life.  I was perfect at walking through the door of my house and making people feel welcome and talking to people with a perfect calmness and not a glimpse of true emotion visible.  I use to be depressed.  Who are you to judge?  I had no reason.  My life was perfect I would come into life each day and wake, people would hug me and make me feel good,  my family was stable and my influence was good, my home was warm and I had meals for my day, but I came home in a car.  I use to think about life and how hard it could get.  I would stress about the things that haven't even happened yet, and may never happen.  I would sit in the car knowing that with the turn of a steering wheel in the right direction at the right speed I could die and somehow I would have been fine with that.  I would come home and honestly just sit my friends would joke about nooses but they did not understand that one was tied to my shower head.  They talked about people dead as if it was no big deal and so society put it in my head that death is not a big deal.  Bullets in my hand or hands on the wheel, I could have done it at any moment and I knew people would miss me but I got it in my head that it was only a temporary thing.  I put evil in my mind and when the light was every where around me I still felt like I was walking beneath a darker shadow.  Death, it was a constant thought not every day or few hours but every second that my cognitive process was functioning.  I love life though and so I flipped; I do not know or why I went through that stage and I pray to never go back.  I think it is because in that time I saw the dark and I realized how much the light meant to me and how much my christian beliefs really matter.  I am grateful for life and for every breath seeping into my lungs I say thank you for being you.

narrowed vision

As the adhesive water molecule falls onto my forehead I can feel it making the journey down the creased age telling wrinkles.  Each year brings more and my vision is fading.  The peripheral angle at which I saw my family raise one another and people doing good in the world is slowing diminishing.  I look now and it is as if straws have been glued to my pupils and my iris fails to react with my vision.  I just sit now and only see the bad; the pessimistic society where my half empty cup is getting lower.  One day life will break my narrowed vision away and at that time I will die because I want to die when life is at its peak of joy, that way I remember my last moments with no regret.

change in seer

So I thought I liked you and then I realized that it is pointless to have the emotion in your direction.  While I am busy pouring my thoughts into stress stained bowls with crack compression in on me as I am dropped and shattered.  You can try to get my pieces back together but my roughed edges will pierce your finger tips and make you bleed.  A drop on society will make you realize what you had and that was me, but now I sit on a shelf not even worthy for a misfit thrift shop waiting to be seen.  Another has found me and picked me up.  They handle me with care and they speak what I call blunt and I love it.  Water can fill my pours and air can seep into my soul because even with another drop, shatter, or scuff, I know that I am taken care of because someone new has seen me and they have been looking the entire time.

So I Sit

So I sit.
You tell me to stand and face the brunt look on my fathers face, so I sit.
You asked me to put my emotions ahead of instinct and let anxiety get in the way, so I sit.
You tell me to to get up and actually achieve something for once and maybe meet a beautiful girl, so I sit.
You asked me to kick depressions behind and force happiness down my lungs until I choke on life, so I sit
You tell me to do these things, and they have me sit but when life tells you to sit I think thats a hint to take a stand.