scared to turn

I fear.  I FEAR.  i fear that when i look up ill only see down.  i fear that when i look at my life i see no future.  i dont look with my eyes i see with my thought and when their alert they give me lot of pictures and tones, values, and shades.  the color makes no sense i try to see the plain in things.  i look at the guy who follows me around and telling me provocative things.  he sits in the corner under the light submerged in nothing but shadow.  always afraid to fear what it is a man, a woman. to see, see, look, sight, sense, hear, speak, taste,  the sense of which it cannot display.  only for my mind to create a ray,  a ray more like a laser shooting into the sky with the light trying to see how hight it can fly only to reach a stopping point and die.  I fear what fears me,  what people see as fear i see new thought.  my mind on the hemisphere of creativity burns and spins.  it almost feels as if i am about to die, die and now i listen to the clouds and whisper into the holes in sky always knowing that it sees with its eyes.