Think thought and distraught

Oh, is she talking to me, I don't understand i cant tell if she want me to say yes or no.  I need help.  does she like me?  who knows.  Holy crap do all brains move at a hundred miles an hour.  I know that she is sending hints but when it comes down to it a hint is more like a suggestion and what if the hint is for something else.  i think that the air ventilation system is blowing warm air and its hot enough as it is.  Hot HOT  gee.  i need to understand.  is she cold.  she says she is but i don't know.  i cant help but think that she want me to put my arm around her.  is that weird am i just a hormonal enraged guy with testosterone up and out of the roof of my embarrassment.  These sentences are long i hope the grammar in this doesn't totally blow and then people will think m an idiot.  I promise i just think she's cute i never said i had compassion for her i just think that she has personality.  That guy in the corner is whipped.  why are girls so demanding.  i just want to leave society with a woman into the mountains and live in the wood with her.  why cant the world be more simple.  the devil... thats why.  The devil is a son of gun that points everywhere and shoots all and his temptations fill my mind with aroused terrible thoughts.  i hate the devil.  Why can he be a physical being that i can just shoot and forget about for ever.  because you cant forget.  remember that lie you just told.  and if you didn't then your life is a either a lie or your fricken close to perfect.  I want to do something with this weekend is that wrong.  maybe i'm just horny... probably but i don't know.  I really want to be an artist because i feel like i have some talent but in all reality being my own worst critic bite me in the butt of my life every day.  I cant believe my little brothers friend every time he comes over he demands a shake.  he asks first and its all cute but then he demand and you just want to push him into a pit of vipers and let some giant squid attack him and vomit him into the lions den.  Daniel in the lions den.  what a cool story of truth.  I need to go to work but in all honesty i hate that place the only reason i stay is for the friends and the money too but if i could have a job el swear that wasn't a piece of crap i would be all for it.  I need to look up every once in a while.  the red lines under my words are in a love hate relationship. with me.  The correct me but make me feel like my grammar is in the dump and then the world biggest ostrage with turds the sized of real big turds and it just dropped it on my canvas, paper.  i like the word canvas it makes it feel like its more that just your sketch and thought. this is a sketch of my thoughts and embrace them or not you can choose but all i know is that life judges too much and we are the worst examples.  alright well time to go and make terrible food for costumers making more than me.  oh joy

quoted by the quoti ii

 Why the heck are you so confusing??

scared to turn

I fear.  I FEAR.  i fear that when i look up ill only see down.  i fear that when i look at my life i see no future.  i dont look with my eyes i see with my thought and when their alert they give me lot of pictures and tones, values, and shades.  the color makes no sense i try to see the plain in things.  i look at the guy who follows me around and telling me provocative things.  he sits in the corner under the light submerged in nothing but shadow.  always afraid to fear what it is a man, a woman. to see, see, look, sight, sense, hear, speak, taste,  the sense of which it cannot display.  only for my mind to create a ray,  a ray more like a laser shooting into the sky with the light trying to see how hight it can fly only to reach a stopping point and die.  I fear what fears me,  what people see as fear i see new thought.  my mind on the hemisphere of creativity burns and spins.  it almost feels as if i am about to die, die and now i listen to the clouds and whisper into the holes in sky always knowing that it sees with its eyes.

LOVE

you go into the iris first looking at the radiant color.  the beautiful strokes of small crystals weaving through the exquisite lens.  the auto focus and aperture of the round circle.  the circle.  a never ending pigmented destination without an end.  the value of shadow hits the line of the brow so delightful.  YOU THINK THAT YOU SEE THEIR FACE and then you realized that there is more, more, more to the common speculation that is being presented and made.  You see the ridge of the cheek and realized it is the most gorgeous thing you have ever seen.  the red blush and natural definition that shows the almost befuddling features.  you wonder what is going through their head.  if its about you.  your anxiety almost thrashed your inside to pieces.  your sick.  sick of not knowing what is for you to understand.  sick of looking and seeing your reflection in those endless eyes and not knowing if the stare and gaze is for you.  you love them. 

the complex mind of the man.  about age unknown i saw it.  the people behind me whispering into my head.   telling me what i didnt know and what i shouldnt of heard.  the dark wallls slowly enclose as the cracks in the crate are all the iris can see as we get carried into the plain of intellectual worth.  he comes to me and saiys that she says that i think, who thought to have a world.  Universe, galaxy with wholes of heaven becoming the peep holes into our future, destiny eve.  They people all around gossip, spread like a disease under the attack of crime.  crime taken into judgement by a supreme follower to decide your fate.  fate a thing that only an unworldly power can determine in which our image is made in the beuty of this world as the chord of life feeds and nurtures us.  Eurobamate with the energy of Herb and raven on the cold neck as the first offense travels to the stream of life.  You black out...... away into the mind with your every thought and compultion like a bolt of thunder and the noise of lightening.  the sky opens with light for the crack of the whip hits the clouds and opens into a star.  the one that i see in the night and twelve hours later she will see it to from india.  the exact furthest place form this place.  i sit in a room.  sitting sitting sitting as the hammer on the tabs of fate create works taht only i can understand.  i dont need you for my grammer i have my own thoughts and i may just be having a gay old time when the world dips into what i see as the world raising into the hills.  the nonsense and sense of these thing i write matter not to me because they are from me not you.  if your lack of understandment cannot follow then it just proves how different we all are.  agency thought skin my hair and eyes.  i am human and if you say different the you can follow as a repeat the word agensy to show how i feel, emotion, thoughts moving at hundreds of meters per second with ideas that can revelutionize how you walk talk think say and do.  i am human and i create.