Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Update on way I am living.

Life has been a pleasure lately and joy is no longer a drop coming off the brim of a cup but an entire fountain with a beautiful display of coins on the surface.  The coins are head side up and each time I come in contact with them I place one next to my ankle touching my tightly woven wool socks.  These days the average is finally up to the worlds standards of a fifty fifty chance to get a heads or tail but I want more than this and so I still wait, but not much longer because lately every head side has been good.  I wish there were a word to describe how good but sadly our dictionary has not conformed enough to modern day language to find an adequate word.  Its been roughly a month since the one who I have loved gazed and took me and accepted me.  I feel like love is an over used word when you are in your adolescent years and entering into adulthood and I feel that the term should mean what it was bread to get across.  Not simply romance, romance is at the beginning with the twitter pated heart that bleeds for one person and then spreads across the floor until nobody is there to clean it up.  I am not talking about romance, but I am talking about love.  A romance and eternal hybrid that is based around friendship.  This is based around trust and openness with one another.  It is with physical and chemical attraction between two.  When you have agreed to poor out your souls to one another and you feel as if this is the one person on earth who cares about you for being you and who you are and not by look but by the actions you exemplify.  I love a girl to my definition, I think that life is hard though because when communication is all that you desire and too see her gorgeous face,  when all you want to do is tell her about all the beautiful things in the world and talk to her about life and how it can and will be if things go right.  All I desire is her voice or a slight appearance.  I will take every second or glimpse I can achieve and anything more than a second or two is worth praying to God directly after and saying thank you.  People ponder in the isles of lockers and gain the courage to finally ask you about her and they ask you to compare her to another.  Comparisons are just pointless though, because with this girl, this woman, things are different and every time I am with her is incomparable to even the greatest joy that the world can bring.  With the close of one day I dream.  In the morning I wake up and give myself at least ten minutes.  I lay down into my pillow and remind myself of why I Love this girl and what it is that just makes me happy and I give thanks, and if I am not disturbed by the pressing day forcing me to get on with my life I would be able to spend the rest of life knowing why I feel this way.  Repetition is a funny thing.  Repetition is born in these words because I can never convey the gratefulness I have to my Loving God in whom I trust for placing me here with her.

-Thank You  

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