My Efforts

My efforts are going to the dismal dumps.  When you crush a soda pop can with your foot the metal collides together like the bellows of an accordion until the volume is now flat.  My words feel like the bellows taking their first breath in and when the words and the breath met they created pitch, a frequency strong enough to shader the vessels around my mechanical heart.  Mechanical because I feel as if it has a routine and gears on it bring the heart to go in cycles but all of the cycles push the blood towards my wounds, and wounds have healed when they are physically inflicted, but what about the scars on my brain?  I can remember everything that I did for you and I can remember the feelings I feel for you and even if nothing comes of it I will always love you because you are my best friend.  Why does compassion have to kill love when my love is a friend until the end.  She said I love you and life with you has never been better, but I use to be a suicide case so why does she tell me these things.  Why did I open up to her.  You see i drove the rubber off my tires so that I could spend as much time as possible to be forward with her, but she dose not get it.  I love life and I will sacrifice mine for hers without the bat of an eye lash.  I will always feel this way and have done everything I could to make things good.  She tells me things are okay and that nothing has changed and that we are still best friends.  She tells me this but wont give me the time of day when I will take away my life for her so that she can better understand the vigor and passion I put into us.